‘Tis the season for hyperventilating about the need to vote. I’m guilty of it myself. Like a kid about to start a new school, I’m freaked out that our move means we have to go to a new polling location tomorrow. I’ve confirmed my voter registration status with our new county online today, Google mapped the location and am running through logistics for our first post-baby voting scenario. (Because now doing our civic duty means arming ourselves not just with righteous indignation, but also sippy cups and Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You?)
Voting’s important of course but I’ve found that there’s a lack of recognition from some quarters that GOTV (get out the vote, for you non-D.C. insufferables) doesn’t always have to be turned up to 11. There are some elections that are, uh, 9s. Eights even. You know what was an 11? The 2008 presidential contest. Fate of the free world at stake and all. But you know what’s an 8? The East Hampton dog catcher tilt. Just don’t tell that to the dude responsible for the incumbent dog catcher’s social media strategy.
Maybe I’m still mellowed out by Sanitypalooza, but I humbly request that everyone chill out on the voting exhortations. Yes, everyone needs to go vote. No, you do not need to remind me of that with four exclamation points or by suggesting that my very existence on the planet is immediately threatened. Shout all the time and they tune you out when it matters. So head to Twitter and leave your A-game overwrought voting reminders, using the #hyperbolicGOTV hashtag. If you don’t use Twitter, leave them in the comments.
* If you don’t vote, a unicorn will get syphilis. #hyperbolicGOTV
* My nana’s gout recovery depends on your vote. #hyperbolicGOTV
* Be heard on Nov. 2 or be run over by a bus on Nov. 3. #hyperbolicGOTV
* If you don’t vote, you hate freedom and puppies and Girl Scout cookies. Clearly. #hyperbolicGOTV