Item: $50,000 child’s birthday party
Source: Bravo TV
The Pitch: “After spending $50,000 on an over-the-top tea party, to celebrate her daughter Kennedy’s fourth birthday, Taylor is upstaged by her husband who brings in an even bigger birthday present.”

“Oh my stars,” you’re probably thinking. “What ever did her husband bring? A unicorn coated in gold, led by her very own miniature servant jockey?” No, he gave her a puppy, which was the most normal part of this spectacle. Because the party also included: hired fairies and Alice in Wonderland actors, nannies to watch the kids so their parents didn’t actually have to put down their champagne, a tea leaf reader, topiary floral arrangements, bajillion-dollar tablescapes, $1,700 necklace “favors” for the little girls in attendance, a band commissioned to perform a theme song for the birthday girl, a professional photographer, and it was all held at the Houdini Mansion, which costs $10,000 to rent.

“Well in Beverly Hills they’re probably pretty extravagant for the sweet 16 parties, right?” Wrong. The birthday girl was four. Which, the jeweler selling her mum the necklaces for the favors helpfully explained was the exact age that a little girl deserves a big diamond. To her credit, the four-year-old in question appeared to be the only one aware that her party was why the terrorists hate us and she appeared suitably miserable the entire time.