You have the unique opportunity to weigh in today on a topic of special interest to me: Whether or not I’m a total jerkface. Lest you find yourself with a preponderance of fodder for such a conversation, let’s focus on the specific ethical dilemma in which I now find myself.
A few days ago, our neighbor, a nice gent who’s made himself quite helpful to us since we moved here (and in fact it is his parents’ longtime family home that we bought), told me to come over and check out some stuff he had up in the attic. He said, “I thought you might want it for your daughter and if not I’ll just haul it to Goodwill.” That stuff included a couple toys, an old picnic basket and two books — an old dogeared copy of Cinderella and a copy of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. Nothing spectacular but it was nice of him so I dutifully shlepped it across the lawn and piled it in our house, drawing a snicker from my husband who wondered why I was taking the neighbor’s junk.
Later that night I picked up the copy of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas and out of habit developed at my favorite used bookshops (my husband and I are casual book collectors), I checked out the copyright page.
1957. First edition. First printing. Conservative estimate of value: a couple hundred dollars. Possible value: up to $2,500.
The neighbor clearly had no idea of the value when he gave it to me, nor did I when I took it. I’d have no intention of selling it; rather, it would just remain among our collection of prized books, which means putting it on a shelf out of range of baby peanut-butter paws Magoo. By bringing it up I risk hearing for the rest of our neighborly days, some irritating variation of “Well I did give you that book.” I’m a huge fan of taking the path of least resistance and in this case that very much seems like keeping the book, shrugging at a stroke of good luck, and saying nothing that puts our neighbor in a position of feeling like a stooge for handing off something so potentially valuable.
But on the other furry green hand, something about keeping it without at least offering him the chance to understand its worth and take it back (and recognizing that he very well may) feels a little off.
Convince me that my heart needs to grow three sizes this day…
brunchbird.wordpress.com 
Number one, it was given freely and with kindness…accept the gift. Number two, it obviously held no real value to your neighbor except that it made him happy to be able to share it with you….accept the gift. Number three, it is a stroke of good luck that it may be worth a couple of thousand dollars but you have already indicated that you will not be selling it…accept the gift. And by saying “accept the gift” I mean you shouldn’t feel bad about receiving such a fine book and I would just let it go. If the thing was worth 100,000 dollars then yes I might let him know that he may want it back, however the potential worth you stated is relatively low and literally not worth worrying over. In the end, ask yourself the question and your first response should be your course of action. Either way you are a good person, perhaps this is GOD’s way of saying “thanks for being such a good person, here’s you a little something in return”. Call it Karma, call it whatever you will but just know that this Who thinks you are Who-riffic no matter what you decide.
Plus, if you offer to give it back, you run the risk of making HIM feel like a greedy-guts for taking back a present (to a child!) just because it turned out to be valuable. Keep the book.
What would you want your neighbor to do if the situation was reversed?
I’d bring it back, explain that on closer examination I realized it was a first edition and likely very valuable and I couldn’t accept it.
L A Cochran is wise beyond her/his years.
In agreeing with Mom’s assessment of L A Cochran’s response, I would imagine that your neighbor would say, “No please, I want you to have i. Please keep it.”
It is hard to believe the neighbor meant to give you a $2500 present. If you had found that much cash inside the book, wouldn’t you return it?
These are all excellent points and unfortunately I agree with all of them. Which leaves me spinning in my living room holding the book dithering over what to do. 😉
Keep ’em coming!…
I’m with LA Cochran; bring it back, but with this caveat; tell him your intent wouldn’t be to sell it, but that you don’t feel right about at least letting him know the book’s value in case HE would want to sell it.
To me, the fact that it’s bugging you this much says a lot. Also, he’s your neighbor, he’s obviously a charitable person who wants to have a good relationship with the people next door…I think it just makes sense that you make that much effort in return.
I’m with LA Cochran as well – it’s a lovely gift, but I personally would feel uncomfortable accepting a gift with such a high financial value. Also, he might have some sort of financial strain going on, and he might be helped out by selling the book.
What do we all think of this as a plan?: I take the book to a bookseller and get it appraised. If it comes in at $100 or less (which is possible because there’s a little bit of scribbling on the bottom of the back cover) we keep it and call it a day — no need to ruffle any feathers. If it’s more than that, I employ the LA Cochran Method — walk it back over, thank him and say I can’t possibly accept it.
Hmm. First, I didn’t know you were back! Welcome back!
Second, this hits home because the Grinch is my faaaavorite!
Well, I agree with LA Cochran and the others who followed suit. If you were a different person (read: less honest) you would be able to keep it, but I don’t get the sense that this would sit with you over the years. I wouldn’t give it back totally though. I would go back and say something like, “I love books, and I love this book, but I realized it may be valuable because it appears to be a first edition. Would you like to get it appraised (then recommend a place for him to go) and if you decide it’s too valuable and you would like to keep it, I’ll understand. If for some reason it doesn’t hold the value I think it might, I would love to have it back.”
I wouldn’t go get it appraised yourself because that may make him wonder why you did it, etc. / question your motives.
A point that we may have overlooked: He has taken you under his wing because you bought his parents home. He feels a sense of attachment to that house, and therefore, you. You can’t go wrong by just putting the decision back in his hands.
I’m with LA Cochran and Justin. I strongly object to getting the book appraised. This gentleman is your neighbor. He’s going to be the one who helps you shovel your walk or knows exactly how his parents dealt with a leaky toilet or basement or lets you in when you’re locked out or helps you find your pet when it has gone missing. Should I go on? Don’t put a price on that relationship. You’ll find it’s priceless. You know the right thing to do.
I wouldn’t get it appraised, and I wouldn’t say anything as strong as “couldn’t accept it” if it were me. I would, however, explain that I’d noticed that it was a first edition, and as such, you wonder if it might have possibly be quite valuable.
Personally, I’d stop talking at that point and see what he says. If you have the book with you – to show him the copyright page and share your enthusiasm! – it’ll be easy enough to ask him if he’d like to look into getting it appraised.
Otherwise I would feel like I was duping him, even though doing nothing is not unreasonable – it was a gift, after all.
I think only Pawn Stars can solve this problem!!
No, you already know what you need to do. Give him the opportunity to take it back. Be honest about your intentions, and you will rest easy.
Co-sign K’s response. Your conscience, unfortunately (?), would never be able to handle the guilt if you didn’t.
Tear the book in half. Give neighbor half. Win-win.
$2500 says that you try to give the book back. $1250 says that he takes it.
what LA Cochran said..
sorry but youll never feel right reading it to your babies…
he may insist you keep it… 🙂
but it would be in poor taste to make HIM feel awkward by ASKING him if he wants it back…
either way… what a lovely find…
for someone…
and i believe books find the people they belong with… maybe this one is yours…maybe not…
xoxo
Welcome back! I very much enjoyed your blog in the past, and it’s nice to see you sharing your thoughts again.
If he had given you a pile of old things, including an old wallet, and that wallet had $100 to $2,500 in it, you would of course give it back. This is as good as found money, and I think taking the book over and explaining the situation is the right thing to do. He probably will recognize your honesty, neighborly spirit, and good intentions, and insist that you keep the book as a special gift to your lovely daughter. If not, you’ve lost nothing, and you get to keep the peace of mind that comes with doing the right thing.
I agree with LA Cochran, Mom, and Lemon Gloria. You don’t have to go into detail, but let him know that it is potentially valuable. It’s kind of the do unto others thing… In the long run the good feeling and peace will last longer than the $2500.
Oh, now… as a book lover, I can just imagine the swell of joy when you discovered this find–and what a find it is! I think I have to concur with the rest–give the neighbor a chance to realize what he had but know that he’s probably going to let you keep it in good faith that it someday finds itself into the hands of a precocious four-year-old’s hands. I’m sure she will cherish it as much as you did and pass it along with that exceptionally wonderful story. And, hell, it’s not like he’s not sitting on a goldmine with all that land outside DC anyway! Book? Psssaaah!
I love old books but I am not familiar with the collectors market. If I received such a gift, I would have delighted in the discovery and thanked my benefactor profusely, but it would never have occurred to me that he might want to sell it for the money. Reading these comments, offering to give it back sounds like the right thing to do. Someone like me, without the arcane knowledge of the book’s value, is not a bad person for keeping the book, then neither are you. Why does the fact that you are a collector hold you to a higher responsibility.
I agree with above that it’s a little patronizing to assume he would take back a gift to a child over a few hundred dollars. To get the maximum value, he would have to sell it in a specialized market- a lot of trouble he probably doesn’t want to fool with. Or you would end up doing it for him as a favor.
People give away things of value all the time- especially when they are cleaning or moving. It’s a lot easier to have goodwill haul it away than to sell on Ebay and pack and ship.
I say keep the book and enjoy it. No good can come of bringing money into a well-intended gesture between neighbors.